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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26786914">2. Earth</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legless_fish_on_rollerskates/pseuds/seajelly'>seajelly (Legless_fish_on_rollerskates)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>trio's #suptober20 fics [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Humor, Internet, Oneshot, POV Outsider, Post-Episode: s12e01 Keep Calm and Carry On, Suptober 2020 (Supernatural), cas gets mistaken for an alien, i guess, repeatedly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:54:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,498</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26786914</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legless_fish_on_rollerskates/pseuds/seajelly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Okay, so I know a lot of you won’t believe me, but this is absolutely true, I swear. I was driving down the highway at, like, three in the morning, heading to my sister’s place in Nebraska. It was dark, no other cars around, and out of nowhere this giant glowing something crashes into a sign not ten feet away from my truck. Burns a hole straight through the sign, leaves a crater four feet deep underneath. So, naturally, I pull over, because what the fuck, right? I thought it was some kind of meteor or something. And then a dude climbs out of the hole and asks me where he is.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>trio's #suptober20 fics [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1950793</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>97</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>2. Earth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>An interesting thing about Supernatural is the fact that we don’t ever see what happens when Cas gets angel-banished until season 12. However, we can assume it usually works the same way. So I was thinking about the guy who Cas stole a truck from, and then I started wondering, how many other people are out there who have witnessed Cas crash-landing? Or just appearing in general, back when he had wings? What do they think is going on?</p><p>(The web forum in this is not supposed to be based on anything specific, it’s just a general internet wormhole. Guest appearance by my sister)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><span class="u"> <b>My Close Encounter</b> </span>  posted by <b>martian-stole-my-truck</b></p><p>Okay, so I know a lot of you won’t believe me, but this is absolutely true, I swear. I was driving down the highway at, like, three in the morning, heading to my sister’s place in Nebraska. It was dark, no other cars around, and out of nowhere this giant glowing <em> something </em> crashes into a sign not ten feet away from my truck. Burns a hole straight through the sign, leaves a crater four feet deep underneath. So, naturally, I pull over, because <em> what the fuck, </em> right? I thought it was some kind of meteor or something. And then a dude <em> climbs out of the hole and asks me where he is </em>.</p><p> </p><p>Now let me just say, this guy would look totally normal if not for the fact that he had just fallen out of the sky in a fiery blaze and was perfectly fine. I would probably pass him on the street without a second glance. Kinda tall, dark hair, blue eyes, looked like he was in his thirties or fourties. Dressed like an accountant or something, trench coat, suit and tie, sensible shoes. Looking a little rumpled, probably because he’d just <em> fallen out of the freaking sky. </em>I know I already said that, but come on guys. What was I supposed to do here???</p><p> </p><p>So he asks me where he is, and I’m like, “Earth,” because now that I’m looking at him properly he definitely gives off a vibe of <em> just slightly to the left of human. </em>And he gives me this exasperated look, like a tired mom, and asks how close he is to Lebanon, Kansas.</p><p> </p><p>Lebanon, Kansas. Of all places. I repeat, <em> what the fuck </em>.</p><p> </p><p>I tell him, because I have no idea what he is or what’s going on, and he starts to walk away and I get my act together enough to ask him what he is. And he taps me on the forehead and I guess I black out, because next thing I know it’s morning, I’m lying in the middle of the road, and my truck’s gone.</p><p> </p><p>So I call my sister to tell her what happened and why I’m not at her house yet and could she come pick me up please? And she’s totally convinced that I got wasted and passed out in the street, but that’s not what happened, I swear to god. A freaking alien stole my truck. And now I’m worried I have brain damage or some shit because of whatever he did to knock me out. </p><p> </p><p>It’s been a weird few days.</p><p> </p><p>So there’s my story to tell the grandkids that they’ll never believe. Anyone else ever experienced like this?</p><p> </p><p>       &gt;&gt;<b>galactic-girl42</b></p><p>i was almost abducted by aliens once! they were green and purple and had waaay too many legs, and i was like no thank you i want to go to Jupiter but you’re creepy as fuck, and i punched one in the face and ran, lol</p><p> </p><p>       &gt;&gt;<b>brendonissleeping</b></p><p>Someone needs to lay off the shots, damn</p><p> </p><p>       &gt;&gt;<b>narwhal-sheep</b></p><p>Oh my god you met trench-coat guy!! I saw him a few years ago, a lot of other people have too. There’s people who’ve been tracking him for almost a decade. Apparently he pops up all over the place. We have a group for people who’ve run into him, do you want me to add you?</p><p>     &gt;&gt;&gt;<b>martian-stole-my-truck</b></p><p>Yes, please</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p><b> <em>narwhal-sheep </em> </b> <em> added </em> <b> <em>martian-stole-my-truck</em> </b> <em> to the chat </em></p><p><b>narwhal-sheep: </b>hey guys, there's been another one!</p><p><b>Alieninatrenchcoat:</b> what happened and where, time and place, be as specific as possible please</p><p><b>june’s-ballet-slippers</b>: Let them breathe first, Matt, jesus. Hi, I’m JJ, welcome to this hellhole. Ignore Matt, he’s a touch obsessed with finding this thing.</p><p><b>martian-stole-my-truck: </b>it’s chill, I get it. I’m Craig. you can read my post <span class="u">here</span> if you’re interested</p><p><b>uselessslesbian1: </b>he STOLE YOUR TRUCK!?! Wtf man</p><p><b>martian-stole-my-truck</b>: I have insurance, it’s fine. mostly it’s just my sister thinking I’m on drugs now that’s the problem</p><p><b>narwhal-sheep</b>: Kali, tell them how you met him</p><p><b>uselessslesbian1</b>: gimme a sec to type</p><p><b>uselessslesbian1</b>: so this was a few years back. I was home alone with a concussion, bored out of my skull because you literally can’t do anything when you hurt your brain—no tv, no books, nothing. and then suddenly there’s a middle-aged dude in a trench coat falling through my ceiling with the loudest crash you’ve ever heard. scared the shit out of me. and he looks at me and asks a question in a language I don’t know, taps me on the forehead, and disappears. it takes me a minute after that to realize my headache is totally gone. so he somehow fixed my concussion, but there’s still a giant hole in my roof and it’s raining, so now I’m getting soaked, and I end up with hypothermia because I’m an idiot who sat there in the rain in shock for like half an hour without moving. and the property damage sure was fun to explain to my parents, lemme tell you</p><p><b>martian-stole-my-truck</b>: wow. I feel better about having my truck stolen now.</p><p><b>june’s-ballet-slippers</b>: Yeah.</p><p><b>xCassetteTapex</b>: So you’re another one who supports the alien theory, then?</p><p><b>martian-stole-my-truck</b>: there are other theories?</p><p><b>june’s-ballet-slippers</b>: Finch thinks he’s some kind of fae.</p><p><b>narwhal-sheep</b>: he has magic healing powers!! what sort of alien has magic healing powers??</p><p><b>Alieninatrenchcoat</b>: there’s no such thing as magic, Finch</p><p><b>xCassetteTapex</b>: Matt, how can you believe in aliens but not magic?</p><p><b>Alieninatrenchcoat</b>: everything humans have ever called ‘magic’ has always just been science that we didn’t understand yet. extraterrestrial life, on the other hand, is incredibly likely to exist in some form somewhere in our massive universe</p><p><b>uselessslesbian1</b>: yeah, and apparently that somewhere is Lebanon, Kansas</p><p><b>Alieninatrenchcoat</b>: no, you don’t understand how great this is, we finally have a possible location for the bunker!</p><p><b>narwhal-sheep</b>: or maybe he was just meeting someone in Lebanon</p><p><b>uselessslesbian1</b>: or maybe ‘the bunker’ doesn’t even exist</p><p><b>martian-stole-my-truck</b>: what’s ‘the bunker’?</p><p><b>june’s-ballet-slippers</b>: Tyler?</p><p><b>xCassetteTapex</b> : Right, so my encounter wasn’t quite as smashy as y’all’s. I was sitting at a bus stop when these two guys walked by, both wearing suits, and stopped next to this really nice, classic car across the street. They’re arguing about something to do with some kind of trial, I think, so maybe they’re lawyers? It’s hard to tell, I’m only catching pieces of their conversation. And then Trenchcoat-Guy pops up out of thin air and startles them. But it seems like they know him, because the taller one immediately starts talking to him, and he’s gesturing real big. The shorter one looks pissed as hell, yells at Trenchcoat-Guy that they’re having a private conversation and he should go back and wait for them at ‘the bunker,’ whatever that means. Trenchcoat-Guy gets all huffy and disappears again, just like, <em> poof, </em> gone. And the lawyers(?) don’t bat an eye, just go back to their argument like nothing happened. I almost convinced myself I had imagined it before I saw JJ post something about him on Tumblr.</p><p><b>uselessslesbian1</b>: Tyler suggested that this mystery bunker is some kind of base of operations, and now Matt won’t let it go</p><p><b>june’s-ballet-slippers</b>: If he is an alien, wouldn’t his base of operations be on a spaceship somewhere? Or another planet? If he can actually teleport, why couldn’t he just pop across the galaxy back home whenever he wanted?</p><p><b>Alieninatrenchcoat</b>: maybe bending space and time gets harder the farther away you’re trying to jump</p><p><b>narwhal-sheep</b>: or maybe he’s not an alien</p><p><b>xCassetteTapex</b>: Guys, can we not have this argument again? Please?</p><p><b>martian-stole-my-truck</b>: if he can teleport, why did he need to take my truck?!</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Craig stood outside the bakery, hesitating. What was he doing? Somehow he’d gotten roped into a group of conspiracy theorists looking for aliens. And now they were meeting in person, in Lebanon, because Matt was a freak who couldn’t let anything go ever.</p><p> </p><p>At least Craig lived fairly close by. Tyler had driven all the way from New Jersey. JJ had flown in from freaking <em> Scotland </em>for fuck’s sake. These people were obsessed. But they were kind of his friends, and Craig admittedly did want to find out more about whoever or whatever had taken his truck and possibly given him brain damage. So he gritted his teeth and pushed open the door.</p><p> </p><p>He spotted them immediately, huddled around a table in the corner. Matt looked exactly like what Craig had expected. JJ looked about as far from what Craig had expected as possible, and the only reason he could tell her apart from Finch was because Finch had friended him on Facebook. Tyler was obviously Tyler. Craig couldn’t explain why, other than his in-person vibe matched perfectly to his online presence. (Kali wasn’t there, she was finishing her senior year of college and didn’t have time to trek across the country. She had made them all promise to tell her absolutely everything that happened). Craig walked over to the table with trepidation.</p><p> </p><p>“Craig? That you?” JJ asked when she noticed him hovering.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sit down!” exclaimed Finch, grabbing his arm and pulling him into a chair. “Matt was just going over his plan for information-gathering! Which, for the record, I think is absolutely absurd.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not <em> absurd </em>, it’s—”</p><p> </p><p>“<em> Shut up </em>,” Tyler suddenly hissed, making a slicing motion across his neck. “All of you, shut the hell up.”</p><p> </p><p>JJ frowned. “What?”</p><p> </p><p>Tyler inclined his head at the man who had just walked into the bakery and whispered, “That’s him. He’s one of the lawyer dudes.”</p><p> </p><p>Finch raised her eyebrows. “He doesn’t look like a lawyer.”</p><p> </p><p>It was true. The man was wearing flannel and carrying several full grocery bags. He looked far more like a cross between a lumberjack and a soccer dad than he did a lawyer. But Tyler shook his head. </p><p> </p><p>“Trust me. Someone that tall, and with hair like that? Not easy to forget.”</p><p> </p><p>Tall maybe-lawyer set his bags down on a table by the door and fished out his phone, fiddling with it briefly, before walking up to the counter to speak with the woman at the register. Craig caught the word “pie” more than once. Matt turned to Finch, triumphant.</p><p> </p><p>“Clearly we’re in the right place.”</p><p> </p><p>“Just because lawyer dude is here doesn’t mean trench-coat guy is,” Finch countered.</p><p> </p><p>JJ coughed. “Um. Actually, I’m pretty sure he is.”</p><p> </p><p>Matt spun around so fast he almost fell out of his chair. Craig would laugh at him, except… yeah, that was definitely trench-coat guy walking through the door. Finch gaped openly until Tyler kicked her under the table. </p><p> </p><p>“Who’s that with him?” Matt finally asked, and Craig suddenly noticed the kid standing next to trench-coat guy.</p><p> </p><p>“His son?” suggested JJ. </p><p> </p><p>“They do look awfully similar,” admitted Finch.</p><p> </p><p>“There’s <em> another one </em>?” hissed Craig.</p><p> </p><p>“They aren’t necessarily related. Maybe his entire species just looks like that,” said Matt. “We don't even know if that’s what he really looks like, it could be some kind of human-disguise.”</p><p> </p><p>“Keep your voices down, I’m trying to listen,” said Tyler, and they all shut up as trench-coat guy and alien-clone kid approached lawyer dude. </p><p> </p><p>They greeted each other, and trench-coat guy passed off even more bags. Craig heard the words “birthday” and “pie” and “Dean.” At one point, alien-clone kid definitely said, “We went to a <em> mall </em>, Sam! It was so cool!”</p><p> </p><p>“So tall lawyer is Sam,” murmured JJ. “Do you think ‘Dean’ is angry lawyer?”</p><p> </p><p>“Probably,” said Tyler. “I don’t remember if they said any names the first time I saw them, but that seems right.”</p><p> </p><p>“Scuse me folks,” came a voice from behind him, and Craig nearly pissed himself when he realized that tall-lawyer-Sam had somehow snuck up on all of them. “Noticed your eyes on me. Did you need something?” There was a terrifyingly dangerous edge to his voice, and he was holding something shiny and sharp.</p><p> </p><p>Beside Craig, Matt choked on air. JJ was frozen. Tyler trembled a little bit.</p><p> </p><p>But Finch set her jaw. “Your friend stole my friend’s truck.”</p><p> </p><p>Sam blinked. “Um. What?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sam, don’t!” said the kid, running up to him and grabbing the sharp thing out of his hand. “They’re human!”</p><p> </p><p>“Jack!” reprimanded trench-coat guy, also coming up beside them. Craig noted that he and his friends were now surrounded. And trench-coat guy was <em> totally </em>Jack’s dad.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you want from us?” Matt finally managed to squeak out, looking frantically back and forth between the lawyer and the alien. They ignored him.</p><p> </p><p>“Sam, what’s going on?” asked trench-coat guy, voice gruff and tense. “You just pulled an angel blade on a group of civilians.”</p><p> </p><p>“They aren’t <em> civilians, </em>” Sam insisted. “They’ve been watching me since I came in here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Please don’t kill us!” blurted Tyler. JJ unfroze enough to smack him.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re not going to kill you!” said Jack, aghast. “This is all a misunderstanding! Sam is just on edge because he’s convinced something is going to come up that will ruin Dean’s birthday party.”</p><p> </p><p>Craig wasn’t quite sure what the kid was talking about, but he didn’t really care, because trench-coat guy was studying him now with terrifying intensity.</p><p> </p><p>“I recognize you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, yeah, you, um. You stole my truck,” Craig stammered.</p><p> </p><p>“Look, man, we don’t care that you’re an alien, we’ll leave you alone, we promise, just don’t hurt us,” said JJ.</p><p> </p><p>Sam stared at her. “You think Cas is… an alien?”</p><p> </p><p>“It is technically an accurate descriptor,” said trench-coat guy (Cas?) with a shrug. “And Dean calls me an alien all the time. I’m not sure why you find that strange.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ha!” yelled Matt, pointing at Finch and startling all of them. “I told you he was an alien! I <em> told </em>you!”</p><p> </p><p>Finch glared at him, and Sam cleared his throat. “I’m more concerned about <em> why </em>they think you’re an alien, Cas.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I did crash-land near him,” said Cas, nodding at Craig. “And then I, um. Knocked him out and… stole his truck.” He looked rather sheepish, and Sam gaped at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Dude, what the hell?”</p><p> </p><p>“It was an emergency situation!” said Cas defensively. “I thought that Dean was dead, and a strange woman had just forcibly cast me out of the bunker, leaving you alone with her! What was I supposed to do?”</p><p> </p><p>“Can’t you, like, teleport?” asked Tyler. Cas glared at him so fiercely that Craig worried he might spontaneously combust. Sam grabbed Cas’s arm.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t,” he said quietly. “They don’t know, it’s not their fault.”</p><p> </p><p>Okay, so the teleporting was a touchy subject. Noted.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re going to be late to meet Jody,” Jack spoke up suddenly. </p><p> </p><p>Sam cursed. “Cas, can you wipe their memories? We don’t have time for this.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, wait, hold on! If you’re gonna erase all this anyway, can you at least tell us where you’re from?” asked Matt, suddenly bold. “Y’know, like, what’s your home planet?”</p><p> </p><p>Cas regarded him for a moment, before seemingly coming to a decision. </p><p> </p><p>“Earth,” he said quietly, steadily. “My home is on Earth.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And then Cas erases their memories and Dean has a wonderful, monster free birthday. The end.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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